Make it all about them!
Yes, I know this is a blog, and book, about keeping our kids Christian, but what we must warn them against is also important if we are to make that keeping more likely.
I recently learned about a Christian women. a famous “mommy blogger,” who was divorced, and recently announced she’s started dating a famous soccer star who happens to be a woman. Yes, this famous Christian author (New York Times Best Seller, no less), blogger, and speaker is now a confirmed lesbian. What makes this particularly especially problematic for conservative, orthodox Christians isn’t the so much the lesbian part of it, but the rationale she gives for engaging in a lesbian relationship. It makes her happy! Oh, so very, very happy! As she put it in her Facebook announcement about the relationship:
Remember in Love Warrior how hard I struggled to understand what being in love meant?
I get it now.
I get it.
I am in love.
And I’m really, deeply happy.
And it’s really not so much that it makes her happy that makes it so pernicious. I’m all for happy. It is the utter subjectivication of existence. What do I mean by this? Simple—It’s all about me! Explaining herself, sort of, to her children in the same Facebook post she says:
That is what I want to model now, because that is what I want for YOU: I want you to grow so comfortable in your own being, your own skin, your own knowing – that you become more interested in your own joy and freedom and integrity than in what others think about you. That you remember that you only live once, that this is not a dress rehearsal and so you must BE who you are. I want you to refuse to betray yourself. Not just for you. For ALL OF US. Because what the world needs — in order to grow, in order to relax, in order to find peace, in order to become brave — is to watch one woman at a time live her truth without asking for permission or offering explanation.
The most revolutionary thing a woman can do is not explain herself.
A more postmodern, relativistic statement could not be made. And this by a Christian? Notice that she exhorts women to live their own “truth.” The essence of postmodernism is the idea that something can be “true for you, but not for me.” A more anti-Christian mentality would be difficult to find.
An excellent article at Christianity Today by Jen Pollock Michel about this situation explains what makes this mentality so revolutionary (and it’s not the sex), and so fundamentally anti-Christian:
The gospel of self-fulfillment has been centuries in the making. As Charles Taylor explains in his dense, scholarly A Secular Age, the new invention of the modern age is a self-sufficing humanism that “accept[s] no final goals beyond human flourishing, nor any allegiance to anything else beyond this flourishing. Of no previous society was this true.” In other words, happiness is our only duty today, self-betrayal our only sin. It’s not simply that the lines of morality have blurred in modern times, making truth relative. It’s not even that religious belief has waned. Rather, the good life has been radically redefined according to the benefit of the individual while the former measures of flourishing—God’s glory, society’s health, the family’s well-being—have been displaced. We’re all on the throne now.
I call this a Veruca Salt approach to life, even if it’s done less obnoxiously by most people. As long as I get what (I think) I want, I can be happy!
Come back again to see why such a self-oriented existence and faith is so good for ruining your kids faith.